Sunday, April 27, 2008

Lured away (again) by the Art Supply Siren

Nothing says "inspiration" like shopping!

Today, I purchased:

Berkeley Classic Drafting Set Black Base
140 lb Acquerello Hot Press Watercolor Block - 20 Sheets - 14X20"
Arches Bright White 140 lb Cold Press Watercolor Paper - 10 Sheets - 22 X 30"
Canson Tracing Pad 19X24
Strathmore 300 Series Watercolor Pad - 9x12"
Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor Pad 5.5x8.5"
Strathmore Aquarius Watercolor Pad - 11x15"
Island Arts Lucky Journals Curry - 6.5X8.5"
Conte Studio Sketch Set
Derwent Coloursoft 72 Tin
Cretacolor Drawing Leads Travel Set
Ceramic Watercolor Flower Dish
Koh-I-Noor Pencil Lengtheners - Set of 3
LUKAS Aquarell 1862 Watercolors (24 ml Tube) Manganese Blue
Rembrandt Watercolors #7 20ml Cadmium Yellow Lemon
Rembrandt Watercolors #7 20ml Sepia
Winsor & Newton Artist Watercolors #5 French Ultramarine

Total spent: $325.00 and change....

Yes; I know. I feel like I've lost my mind spending that much money. But, I've found nifty ways to rationalize it. :) First, this will count as my birthday present, my Mother's day present (to myself), and probably be the last stuff I buy -other than cheapie sketchbooks or #2 pencils- all year.

But mostly, I want to start using my nifty stuff. But I suffer from paranoia about 'wasting' it. My Dad used to yell at me if I "wasted" ten cents worth of writing paper by scribbling on it or writing nonsense or misspelling too many words. And I still carry the shame of it.... The idea that I may make a mistake and turn a $2.00 piece of paper into trash bothers me so badly I become paralyzed and unable to touch it. My perfectionistic self combined with our constant financial battles keeps me in blank paper that will always be...blank. The fear of using it up without producing anything worthy of even stowing in a dark box under the bed is probably the strongest deterrent to my creativity in my life.

I'm hoping to be able to overcome this through sheer weight. Being able to reassure myself by looking into a closet full of nice paper and say to myself "Go ahead and wreck this one -I have plenty more."

But, also...I bought the Berkeley drafting set because another deterrent is my lack of a real where for me to paint. I either have to use the kitchen table -a rotten choice for several reasons, or I have to use the end of my sewing table. And I just about faint at the idea of any water within 3 feet of Neo (my sewing machine). If anything happens to him, I'll cry!!! But sitting on the sofa with a notebook just doesn't cut it. My desk is hidden under two computers, so it's out.... I know I should spend more time outside sketching but I don't live in an area filled with inspiring sights, so it seems kinda pointless to brave the heat, wind, insects and local criminal masterminds just to make a few sketches of rusty utility boxes or native cacti.

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